Search This Blog

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Cough Cough Cough

I’ve been slurping down cough medicine trying to control this lousy coughing. When I gurgled the last drop I was forced to put on my bathrobe and slippers and slink into the store to get some more cough medicine. I even put on my sunglasses so I would not be recognized.

I grabbed a bottle of the cough medicine and went to the check out counter to make my single purchase.

“Can I see your I.D.?” the checker asked.

I took off my sunglasses so the checker could see I was not a young movie starlet in bunny slippers. “I think I’m old enough to buy cough medicine,” I responded with a chuckle.

“I still need your ID.” He responded.

I thought he was kidding. He was not. He would not ring me up until I got out my ID so he could scan it into the computer.

“Why do you need ID to buy cough syrup?” I asked.

“It’s the law. You are limited in how much cough medicine you can buy. They don’t want you cooking with it.”

As he scanned my drivers license into the register I could see all my personal data coming up on the display; my address, phone, 1040 tax information, my medical information, my facebook and twitter entries, my latest blog, and now this single entry at the bottom of all that information “1 bottle of cough medicine purchased.” It was eerie how much the government was tracking.

In a way I should be comforted knowing the government cares enough about me they want to know if I am drinking the cough medicine or using it to cook with. But I’m not comforted. Those parasitic coughing germs now realize they just have to drag out this illness and they can win this battle. They now know there is a limit to the amount of cough medicine and drugs I can purchase so they just need to wait out this coughing until I have consumed my quota and then they can take over my entire body.

I can see it now. I will end up being a mass of slimy mucus on the couch with an empty cough bottle on the table.

When you're sick, your mind makes up stuff like this. Or maybe it's the cough medicine that is doing this. :-)