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Tuesday, April 27, 2010

My First Bit of Advice

I am grooming a new feature in my personality. (Notice I said feature, not flaw. I learned that marketing trick from working with programmers who on the fly will change a defect to be a feature in a split second.)

My new personality trait is to be a hot chick giving sound ADVICE to anyone who is desperate. Today I am calling this behavior an "Advisoaficiando del Pollo Loco". (When you have your own blog you can make up whatever words you want.)

So how does one begin to share advice with the desperate? Where do you find the desperate? And what are their questions?

Living in the Bay Area of Northern California you can rightly assume there will be a lot of people who wander the streets and look absolutely desperate for money, a new gang to join, or in need of mental health counseling. These are not exactly the clientele I am looking for, however.

So I ended up at the dog park and was wandering around trying to schmooze with the animal lovers and casually met Fido’s and his owner. I will call her "Fido's Mom". I let Fido's Mom know I was a savant in providing fabulous advice without any preparation whatsoever. Naturally Fido’s Mom wanted me to prove my marvelous advice skills right then and there. (Dog owners are like that. They throw a stick and expect a dog to bring it immediately back to them with no slobber. Tell them you have your own tricks up your sleeve and a dog owner expects you to spill your guts out through that tiny sleeve.)

I closed my eyes, took in a deep breath, and then this obscure and totally unprovoked message came racing off my tongue “You will get an email from a stranger who will want you to buy Viagra. Click the delete button”.

And I bet she will, too.