Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Becoming a Grandma - It was HELL!!

I have been hearing how absolutely wonderful it is to be a grandma, but let me tell you, it is freakin' scary!  I had no idea I was going to be a total basket case getting through the birth, but I was. I mean, I had been a critical care nurse and knew the ropes, but being on the other side of the fence was absolutely sucky.  (Even though sucky is not a real word, it feels right, so I'm using it).

The first obstacle was getting into the Labor and Delivery room. We arrived at the hospital on a Sunday and was greeted by.... no one! There was absolutely no one there; no receptionist, no security, nada. The place looked empty, almost like it was closed.

We knew which floor to go to because the kids had called ahead and shared where to meet them. So we get off on the 5th floor, and right off the elevators is a big sign that says, STOP - NO ENTRY!  So now what?

Well, you ignore the sign and barge in.  So we did.


Later, things got even more weird.

In the olden days (when I was doing nursing) there were only a few clinicians in blue scrubs scouring the room to help with a regular birth but now, there were eight clinicians in the room to help. This was the first sign things were not going to be routine.

Then when the baby was pushed out, he was rather floppy and had this lovely blueish and purple hue over his entire body. The Pediatrician stepped in and quickly snatched this slippery, floppy kid over to the warmer to clear his lungs and get him to breathe. (He had an Apgar score of 1).

We kept waiting to hear that joyous cry saying "I'M HERE!"but there was no cry.
So we waited.
Still, no cry.
Then, one of the clinicians cried out, "what is the sex?" but there was NO response to that question either.

Naturally, I thought, "this kid must be a blue alien, with gills, and has no gender; after all, do we really know if aliens are male or female or if they breathe regular air and cry? I think not."

We then heard a "code pink" overhead, and the room filled with even more clinicians rushing to help this new alien life form.

The honored grandparents (which included me) were being commanded to "stand down and no photos!" which put us smack into a higher state of panic.

We then heard a faint little crackly cry and became reassured, "there is life!"
and then we heard, "it is a boy!"

"Wonderful!  The kid is not an alien after all!"

The baby was put in an incubator and whisked away to the ICU to get his breathing stabilized and his new dad was pulled away with him. We hadn't yet had a chance to see and count his toes and fingers, but at this point, we just wanted him to breathe and live.

Bambino (which is what we called him at this point) was able to get his breathing and color stabilized, so within a day, he was advanced to the regular nursery, which to me, means he is an absolute genius and able to overcome HUGE obstacles very quickly!


So,
the first day of being a grandparent was pure HELL!
But when I look at this darling little boy, I can now say that hell was TOTALLY worth it!